Have you ever felt like there was something going on with your spouse, whether they are feeling down, seem frustrated, or distant? I know I have, and at times it is hard knowing how to approach them or this topic without them getting defensive. In the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PH.D, he discussed a few ways you can approach your spouse in a non accusative way. He stated to approach it in a gentle way such as, “Hey, I really feel out of touch with you. What is going on?” This is a great way to open up the communication door in a marriage, if your spouse is going through something or if they have something on their mind this will be a great way for them to open up and discuss it with you.
In my marriage open communication is key to us getting along and continuing to stay in love with each other. Going through many big life changes as of lately we have had many days with a lot of things on our minds. We have both had off days where one of us is upset or stressed. We have made a big effort to reach out to each other and discuss our thoughts. We have made a habit of going on a 30 minute walk each night. Considering we live with my parents for the time being, going on this walk has been great with giving us couple time. Almost every day we ask each other, “what has been on your mind today?” This has created that gateway for communication because we are good at listening to each other’s thoughts, worries and validating why they feel that way. Or we try to at least see where they are coming from. This exercise has helped us to spend quality time together and to try to understand the other person’s point of view.
What is something you do in your marriage/family to help make sure that the door of communication is open and that everyone feels comfortable enough to be open and share their thoughts?
Marriage and Family 